Incessant Confuzzlement

Apr 17

Could I get mine with Rims?

Rollerblades aren’t cool any more, but some people still can’t shake the feeling that they need wheels strapped to the feet. This is why inventor MICHAEEEEL JEEEEEENKINNNNNNS (I’m truly sorry, good sir, I could not resist) well, invented the Chariot Skates. What are Chariot Skates?

Costing up to $11,000 for a pair, the wheel-skate features two large carbon fibre wheels. The skater’s feet are suspended below the axle, which is believed to enable a smoother ride than skiing or cycling and can be worn for hours without discomfort.


It can also reach a top speed of 40km/h (~25MPH).

To pull up, skaters need to do a “t-stop,” where one foot is dragged sideways on the road surface.

Mr Jenkins, 50, came up with the idea by combining his favourite forms of transport - skiing, cycling and skating. He then started developing it from his garage in 2004.

Everybody dug my Leroy Jenkins tribute up there, right? Cool, I did that just for you. Also, I don’t know if Chariot Skates could get any cooler UNLESS YOU STRAPPED ROCKETZ TO THE SIDES, AMIRITE?! Hey, it’s Wyle E. Coyote would do. Isn’t that right, Wyle? WYLE?! Haha, what are you doing at the bottom of that ravine?